Formula One drivers don’t get out enough. That’s the feeling you have when Robert Kubica is let loose in a BMW M3 CSL for a lap of Hockenheim – with me in the passenger seat, trying to commentate into a BBC Radio 5 Live mike.
F1’s political correctness was forgotten as my driver behaved like a complete hooligan and did things you should never try at home.
Kubica, dressed in jeans and trainers, had ambled up the car and paused to
take a look at the Michelins. There was hardly any tread worthy of the
name; basically, we were on slicks. He seemed happy about that.
I should have know what I was letting myself when he got sideways – leaving
the pit lane. They had opened a hole in the pit wall and we left rubber
onto the pit straight – and each time he pulled a gear on the manual
six-speed box.
The first corner is quick a F1 car but I didn’t think that would be the
case in the M3. Big mistake.
The brakes were cold, as we discovered when the rear snatched viciously.
Not that it mattered. My man had it under control – in fact, as I was to
discover, he probably wanted the car to get out of line as he aimed for the
apex, kissed it and ran onto the outside kerbs before flooring the
throttle, making a small adjustment to his driving position – as you do at
100 mph – and powering toward Turn 2.
I’ve a couple of seconds to gather my senses before, wallop! Hard on the
brakes, into the right and the quick left that follows, seemingly using
more kerb than Tarmac. Now onto the fastest part of the track, a long, long
left heading towards the slowest corner. The speedo rises quickly towards
240 kph and then over it. That’s 150 mph plus. No problem.
This time, I’m ready for the braking. Or so I thought. The microphone chins
me as my head takes a dive to my chest. We’re darting and weaving under
braking before swinging right, his right foot stabbing the throttle,
desperate to get on the power again.
Sixth gear and, ahead, a left that is taken flat in a F1 car at about 170
mph. I’m shouting: ‘Can we take it flat in the M3! Can we?’ Another big
mistake. He tries it.
I’m watching his blue and white trainer on that pedal. It’s
flat….flat…flat. Then he has to lift, just a smidgeon – as you do when the
back steps out at about 140 mph. By the time I’m over that, it’s
chin-in-the-chest time again as another hairpin arrives far faster than I
had ever imagined. I’d all these smart-arse comments planned for each
corner and I haven’t a chance to come out with any of them. Everything is a
blur as more acceleration follows.
Loads of kerb at the apex, plenty on the exit of the fast right leading
into the stadium. Robert is into his rhythm now and there is an audience in
the grandstands. So he performs.
We come through the Sachs curve sideways. But he’s saving the best for
last, a sequence of two rights. Kubica throws the car broadside before we
get there, his hands flying round the leather wheel like he’s in a rally
car on gravel, the white BMW responding to his synchronised demands on
throttle and steering. He’s clearly forgotten the pit lane entrance is
actually on the apex of the last right.
No, he hasn’t. We enter the pit lane sideways. And hard on the brakes -
very hard on the brakes – to avoid a queue of cars that wasn’t there when
we left. Engine off. Lingering smell of rubber. Silence. Save for the
ticking of metal and cheering from the grandstand opposite. They loved it.
So did I. So, clearly, did the hooligan on my left.
You can hear my hysterical screeching on Five Live Formula 1 this evening.
I once got into a stripped-out race-spec Nissan 350Z as a passenger. On the dash in front of the passenger seat was a sign that read “rules for the passenger:
1. No screaming
2. No crying
3. Hold onto something tightly.”
Perhaps Kubica could do with something like that in the M3?
If only I could hear the broadcast in the US. My loss. Glad you enjoyed your ride!
You get the feeling all these drivers can’t wait to break free of their PR shackles and enjoy themselves on the track. McLaren sponsors take note, wouldn’t you get more exposure if you let Lewis loose on an AMG around a track? Then we might see something we’d all enjoy and that Lewis might too.
Any chance of video footage of this??? Pleeeeeeease
Could you post a link to the piece on this blog? It would be great to hear!
I’m with Graham Potter on his comment. A CLK Black or even the new SL Black in the hands of Britain’s not-so-tame racing driver would be a sight to see. If that ever happens, I call dibs on being the first passenger!
-
– it makes me think of a passenger ride i had in a Fireblade-powered Caterham at 3 sisters circuit in the north west.. It was in November, in the wet, with a very poorly fitting race helmet – and being at the time, 18.5 stones, I was sitting on the side ridges of the bucket seat, rather than in it..
still.. all adds to the flavour!
(and the terror)
Loved it!
Kubica Sucks heidfeld Rocks
Mr Bean You are a moron hence the nickname
i’d have pished myself! i drive quick but sensible, would love to have the cash and experience to drive cars better, track days n stuff
Whats with the numerous grammar and spelling mistakes? Did anyone proof read this at all? I was having hard time understanding what you wrote there due to such poor language.
i bet he wrote that directly after that drive.
L.Hamilton us the bestt
Lucky you. I`d love to see footage of your lap, but I understand that it`s for a radio broadcast. Good fun I`d say.
M3 CSL with a 6 speed manual – no such thing Mr Hamilton. The BMW (E46) M3 CSL has a six speed SMG paddle shift gearbox. I think Mr Kubica was driving the new BMW (E90/E92) M3 which is available with a manual gearbox. Perhaps I should have been in the car so your article could be checked for accuracy.
Regards, Stig.
Heidfeld going down!!!
I noticed that too Stig. The e46 m3 csl only came with a 6speed smg gearbox, which isnt a manual. The new e92 m3 has the 6speed manual, and the e92 m3csl isnt due out for a while,which wll most likely come with the 7speed dct gearbox.
Hey Mr. Bean:
4 Robert Kubica 48 Pts
5 Nick Heidfeld 41 Pts
If Kubica sucks, then maybe Heidfeld had better start imitating his Dyson?
I can only concurr with Maurices views, having had a couple of laps alongside Kubica in an M6 round Thruxton including a perfectly executed drift at the end of the fastest staight hard on the brakes into and around the chicane. Whilst talking quite calmy about his huge hunt in Canada. He was clearly enjoying himself hugely. I know I would have been (and indeed I was from the passenger seat!).
To Stig, I can only say ‘Whatever!’ It was the latest lightweight, not available in the UK. It was bloody quick, that’s all I know. Or care….!
M3 always. No other car makes match M3 in its category.RS4 and C63AMG are all pretenders. They are looking to make names. M3 did 22yrs ago n its still on top.
Please tell us the M3 lap time compared to F1
Jades hot
I Was there and saw him going trough the first corner, got pictures too, damn that guys drives amazingly
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