What Schu up to?

It hasn’t been a good week for the man we call Big Schu. Following the Scud-Nurburgring interface – which, incidentally, Ferrari PR types are now blaming on test driver Raffaele DiSimone – Schumi has been on the rampage in Kent, knocking over a man who was locking his garage gates.

Big Schu, driving a Fiat van, was overtaking a couple of slower cars when he clipped the security gate that Martin Kingham was closing. The gate hit Mr Kingham in the leg and knocked him to the ground.

Though Mr Kingham wasn’t injured in the incident, the driver’s side mirror of Schumi’s van was smashed and police were called to the scene. They confirmed that the two men exchanged insurance details, and that no further action would be taken. There, that’s the important legal bit to make sure we don’t get sued.

But here’s the big question: what was Big Schu doing hooning round Kent in a Fiat van? We know he’s sponsored by Fiat – check out this bad advert – but still…

More sensible office suggestions include:

- He was returning to the Channel Tunnel from the Silverstone Classic event.

- He’d just finished a spot of karting at the Lydd International Raceway.

Less sensible suggestions include:

- His van was loaded up with a race-primed lawnmower from the previous weekends’ 12-hour endurance lawnmower grand prix, where he had been competing under the pseudonym, erm, Raffaele DiSimone.

- He was on his way to the famed Shottenden Car Boot Sale with a van full of slightly chipped porcelain dogs.

- He really doesn’t like used car salesman.

We need your help. Suggest away. Nothing litigious, please.

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