Hands up: who gave ‘The Big Book of Metaphors’ to Red Bull’s Mark Webber for his birthday?
“We do seriously need to go through a lot of things because we’ve been on the ropes since P1.”
Webber told all this to Autosport after the Valencia Grand Prix, which saw Red Bull fail to score any points. For the fourth race on the trot.
“I am sure we will dig our lot on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday but unfortunately the knock-out hits have already been served,” Webber continued, setting a new lap record for ‘most mixed metaphor’ in the process. “Whatever way we skin the cat here, we didn’t start well and we didn’t finish well.”
Is that all, Mark? Oh, he’s still going. “This is a vicious industry, and when you get nailed you can get nailed pretty quick,” concluded the Aussie wordsmith. “We are in that situation. We have a bit of a hole in the boat at the moment.”
Ropes, cats, nails and boats. He’s not happy, is he? But don’t throw the silver lining out with the bathwater, Mark. Grab the nettles by the horns and remember that one in the hand is worth two shakes of a lamb’s tail.
We reckon he needs cheering up. Let’s hear your best mixed metaphor messages of condolences for Mr Webber.
Mark overheard shouting at his mechanics…..
“It’ll be your cock up, my arse!”
that was crazy. he spends too much time in his book than on helpin develop the car! if he keeps on like this his ‘most mixed metaphors’ lap record will be the only one in his possesion!!
Mark is a top bloke, and i really hope he does well for the rest of the season.
HAHAHA nickmorgs awesome!!!
He’s a top bloke! Well he’s ok for an Australian
whinging aussie,just like their olympic team definate shortage of wings!!!!
“Our slogan implies we have wings. We do, but lately those wings have been clipped.”
Actually come to think of it, I don’t think Webber’s the advertising type. He’s much more of a bloke than that.
he is correct red bull should stick to flying especially as toro rosso are beating th shit out of them
Yeah! Talk’in like a true Aussie. Keep up the good work mate.
Webber needs to remember that to finish first he first has to finish; and what’s more he has to finish first.
Huh???
I hope your not a Pom Yeti otherwise that will be another sport we’re better than you at!!!! (just don’t mention the rugby…..or the olympics……or…)
Mates, you put webber into a ferrari or a williams and than tell me he isn’t any good. He would easily beat ur special buddy hamilton. And on the topic of other sports, should we mention how you mostly cheat ur way through things?
He would be a great driver if he was better than he is now, or if he was faster…..
“should we mention how you mostly cheat ur way through things?” I dont remember??
Anyway I think Mark is a good driver but he’s not young enough to be taken on by one of the big teams
The non-Nicki Webster? Flat out like a lizard drinkin’, maate.
He’s been in a Williams. It broke.
England has a long and illustrious history of losing. look at stirling moss, how many championships did he win? 0. where as jack brabham, our greatest driver won three. i wonder if lewis has any murray mints in the cockpit.
This is rubbish, like watching yellow snow dry off a ducks back.
The true test of a driver’s ability is when you put them in the same car. And, Poms are whingers, I think you’ll find Hamilton kicked Webber’s backside around the Top Gear track.
Hahaha I agree medi, perhaps he spends too much time reading. The Germans have a saying that goes, “the dumbest farmers grow the largest potatoes.” I think I finally get that one.
Anderson, a long and illustrious history of losing? Your 3 champs Brabham, Hulme and Jones. Our 6 champs Hawthorn, Graham Hill, Surtees, Hunt, Mansell, Damon Hill. Your 4 titles, our 7. Simple maths, or have you not mastered that yet?
Graham Potter… have you forgotten that at the top gear track, webber was in the old car and hamilton was in the new one… and ontop of that, webber did his lap in the wet… do a little reseach before you post stupid things like that.
im an australian and i support webber 100%. but there is a point where you break so many cars, that you cant call it “unlucky” anymore.
he is doing something wrong, and unfortunatly he is well past his past his prime.
I actually think he’s got real talent. I’d like to see him in a really competitive car.
Jaja – both drivers were in the same car, and Hamilton was in the wet too… check your facts!
he’s slower than Heidfeld. A couple of years ago, they both raced for Williams and Heidfeld was usually faster.
Webber is going to be the new Fisi, “never got a break” “just needed a little bit of luck” “in the wrong car at the wrong time”, when in fact he really just isn’t that good (Fisi). The best drivers always end up the best cars.
I meant IN the best cars
Guys, stop throwing red herrings and white elephants and remember what this blog is about. After all you can make Mohammad move mountains but you can’t make the baby drink the bathwater.
This makes what kevin keegan spout out seem somewhat normal.
If you cant stand the heat in the frying pan, get into the grill oven!
mark is a good driver, esp in the wet. in the same car as lewis or kimi he’d have a coulthard or rubens-esque role. he’d win races and lots of them but not championships, well maybe one. maybe if he’d gotten into a good team early, or if jaguar had useable clutches
at graham: you cant compare aussie and british drivers that easily. SIR jack brabham pioneered the rear engined car in F1, is the only driver to win in his own car….. Oh and i’m claiming bruce mclaren (NZ) aswell because the british get england, scotland etc. so thats two extremely influentual teams. but i’d still say the british are ahead. as for lewis, yeah he’s a brilliant driver, but way too arrogant
but back on topic yeah he used a lot of metaphors, none of them any good. he could at least have made tham humorous or witty. bad form
OI! Bugger off. NZ is not, and hopefully will never be a part of Ausrtalia. the last thing we need is a bunch of sheep shaggers attached like an ill-formed limb to the mighty Australia.
Anyway, F1. Weber is a really good driver. I started getting into F1 this year, and anyone i ask says Weber is really, really, really unlucky. For example, read the article about weber in the Australian top gear mag (issue 2, august 08)
Weber is a super driver, especially in the wet, and he has outperformed all his teammates, only to have his run stopped by somthing out of his control, eg, Vettel slamming into him in Fuji, 2007,despite running second, and having food poisoning.
engine blow up, monaco, 2005(?), from a brilliant position. Weber, if his luck could hold, could outpace just about anyone in the same car, and nearly did so in the British GP by parking his RBR in 2nd place. no mean feat for a middle pack team.
It’s refreshing to hear a bloke say bugger on international TV. I get sick of the normal cliches “the team did a great job” “we are moving forward” etc. Some of Marks’ analogies may be slightly out of left field but so were Murray Walkers’. Thank heavens there is still an individual with humerous, thought provoking comments rather than the sterile, politically correct jargon that seems to be the norm with the latest bunch of F1 drivers. Good on you Mark.