Euro GP: Webberphors

Hands up: who gave ‘The Big Book of Metaphors’ to Red Bull’s Mark Webber for his birthday?

“We do seriously need to go through a lot of things because we’ve been on the ropes since P1.”

Webber told all this to Autosport after the Valencia Grand Prix, which saw Red Bull fail to score any points. For the fourth race on the trot.

“I am sure we will dig our lot on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday but unfortunately the knock-out hits have already been served,” Webber continued, setting a new lap record for ‘most mixed metaphor’ in the process. “Whatever way we skin the cat here, we didn’t start well and we didn’t finish well.”

Is that all, Mark? Oh, he’s still going. “This is a vicious industry, and when you get nailed you can get nailed pretty quick,” concluded the Aussie wordsmith. “We are in that situation. We have a bit of a hole in the boat at the moment.”

Ropes, cats, nails and boats. He’s not happy, is he? But don’t throw the silver lining out with the bathwater, Mark. Grab the nettles by the horns and remember that one in the hand is worth two shakes of a lamb’s tail.

We reckon he needs cheering up. Let’s hear your best mixed metaphor messages of condolences for Mr Webber.

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