Euro GP: Webberphors

Hands up: who gave ‘The Big Book of Metaphors’ to Red Bull’s Mark Webber for his birthday?

“We do seriously need to go through a lot of things because we’ve been on the ropes since P1.”

Webber told all this to Autosport after the Valencia Grand Prix, which saw Red Bull fail to score any points. For the fourth race on the trot.

“I am sure we will dig our lot on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday but unfortunately the knock-out hits have already been served,” Webber continued, setting a new lap record for ‘most mixed metaphor’ in the process. “Whatever way we skin the cat here, we didn’t start well and we didn’t finish well.”

Is that all, Mark? Oh, he’s still going. “This is a vicious industry, and when you get nailed you can get nailed pretty quick,” concluded the Aussie wordsmith. “We are in that situation. We have a bit of a hole in the boat at the moment.”

Ropes, cats, nails and boats. He’s not happy, is he? But don’t throw the silver lining out with the bathwater, Mark. Grab the nettles by the horns and remember that one in the hand is worth two shakes of a lamb’s tail.

We reckon he needs cheering up. Let’s hear your best mixed metaphor messages of condolences for Mr Webber.

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I meant IN the best cars

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Guys, stop throwing red herrings and white elephants and remember what this blog is about. After all you can make Mohammad move mountains but you can’t make the baby drink the bathwater.

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This makes what kevin keegan spout out seem somewhat normal.

If you cant stand the heat in the frying pan, get into the grill oven!

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mark is a good driver, esp in the wet. in the same car as lewis or kimi he’d have a coulthard or rubens-esque role. he’d win races and lots of them but not championships, well maybe one. maybe if he’d gotten into a good team early, or if jaguar had useable clutches

at graham: you cant compare aussie and british drivers that easily. SIR jack brabham pioneered the rear engined car in F1, is the only driver to win in his own car….. Oh and i’m claiming bruce mclaren (NZ) aswell because the british get england, scotland etc. so thats two extremely influentual teams. but i’d still say the british are ahead. as for lewis, yeah he’s a brilliant driver, but way too arrogant

but back on topic yeah he used a lot of metaphors, none of them any good. he could at least have made tham humorous or witty. bad form

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OI! Bugger off. NZ is not, and hopefully will never be a part of Ausrtalia. the last thing we need is a bunch of sheep shaggers attached like an ill-formed limb to the mighty Australia.

Anyway, F1. Weber is a really good driver. I started getting into F1 this year, and anyone i ask says Weber is really, really, really unlucky. For example, read the article about weber in the Australian top gear mag (issue 2, august 08)

Weber is a super driver, especially in the wet, and he has outperformed all his teammates, only to have his run stopped by somthing out of his control, eg, Vettel slamming into him in Fuji, 2007,despite running second, and having food poisoning.

engine blow up, monaco, 2005(?), from a brilliant position. Weber, if his luck could hold, could outpace just about anyone in the same car, and nearly did so in the British GP by parking his RBR in 2nd place. no mean feat for a middle pack team.

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It’s refreshing to hear a bloke say bugger on international TV. I get sick of the normal cliches “the team did a great job” “we are moving forward” etc. Some of Marks’ analogies may be slightly out of left field but so were Murray Walkers’. Thank heavens there is still an individual with humerous, thought provoking comments rather than the sterile, politically correct jargon that seems to be the norm with the latest bunch of F1 drivers. Good on you Mark.

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