Alright, here we go with some totally accurate predictions which will become Formula One truth this year and won’t make me look like an idiot. Because I am always right about F1 and if you disagree with me, you are wrong.
Ah, what a year we’re going to have. Let’s hope it lives up to its billing. It’s a year of battles. Michael Schumacher is at the centre of it all and Michael Schumacher likes a battle – he’ll be carrying enormous self-belief onto the grid with him, remember. He knows he’s the best. Knows it. Better than Lewis, who he’s never raced before: and Lewis won’t back down for him or anyone. Never. And he’ll find that out soon enough. Better than Alonso, even though Fernando beat him to the championship in the last two years he raced. Better than Jenson. Better than the young whippersnapper German Vettel, who grew up watching Schuey win seven championships – another hard nut he’s never raced and who will give him seven shades of hell.
And The Schu will be working hard to make his new team, Mercedes, be better than Ferrari, too. Ferrari boss Luca di Montezemelo called his move to Mercedes a ‘misdeed’. The Tifosi might not be too welcoming for Michael come Monza.
Then there’s Alonso v Massa. Lewis v Button. Virgin v Lotus v HRT (the new boys). Webber v Vettel. Barrichello v Hulkenberg is interesting, too: watch that Hulkenberg bloke, he may be a CAUD (Complete And Utter Demon).
Still, the battles I always enjoy the most are within the teams – the qualifying battles. These will be the key to team-mates gaining the upper hand over each other, and will define their strength within the team. So, here’s the BT qualifying battle prediction which will come true, over 18 races this year. Top teams only. And remember that the cars will run on near-dry tanks this year in qualifying, as light as possible: no fuel load difference. It’ll be down to the driver, no excuses.
Alonso v Massa – 14:4 to Alonso. (Alonso is a demon the likes of which Massa has not seen since Schuey, who outqualified the Brazilian 13:5 in 2006.)
Vettel v Webber – 10:8 to Vettel. (Webber will give him a harder time this year: last year it was 14-3 to Vettel but Webber often qualified with a heavier car.)
Schumacher v Rosberg – 9:9 even. (Only because I have a £5 bet on with a friend that Nico will outqualify Michael more often than not in the first ten races: secretly I think it might end up being 15:3 to The Michael, but I’d never admit that publicly.)
Hamilton v Button – 13:5 to Lewis. (Lewis is just too fast in qualifying and Button got smeared 7:10 by Rubens last year.)
You can disagree with these predictions by commenting below if you like. Try to explain yourself while you’re at it. But remember that if you disagree with me, you are wrong.